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What should a couple, thinking about joining the Swinger life style, first consider? My wife and I decided we want to join this adventures world... What is some advice before we take the plunge! | You need to have a rock solid marriage. No insecurities.
You need to make your individual set of rules, and stick to them no matter what. Decide what kind of swinging you want to do: Soft, medium, full swap.
You must realize that swinging isn't a free for all. No means no, and safe sex always. Manners count for everything, and no one likes drunks. Keep the drinking to a minimum.
The idea of watching your spouse give and receive pleasure with someone else must excite you both.
Do not go looking for another couple for private fun at first. Go to a party or swing club. Watch and observe, stay only with your spouse, and have fun with each other in the hot atmosphere. Get to know other swingers, and let them get to know you. Swingers can be a very picky bunch. My wife and I didn't play with anyone else until our fourth club visit.
You can change the rules, but never in the heat of the moment (feelings always get hurt that way). If you both feel you'd like to do something not covered by your established rules, talk about it back at home when it's just the two of you. The club or party will still be there next time.
A decent website which has party and club listings: www.swinglifestyle.com/
A great book to get started with: www.doinonefortheteam.com/
Swingers have a far lower incidence of STD's and divorce than the higher-than-thou types with their cheating and 60% divorce rate. Swinging should NEVER be for any couple that wants to "save their marriage," or are bored with their sex life. It's for couples who will never find anything better than their own spouse, but enjoy variety once in awhile. | Is swinger life style casual sex? Or does it actually contribute to our mental and emotional well-being? It's obviously not a sexual misconduct as there is no trickery, emotional blackmail or force to compel someone to have sex with us. It is also not adultery as there is no breach of loyalty (mutually agreed, no lying involved). It is, in fact, legal in some countries, e.g. Canada.
What is Buddhism's view on swinger life style, if it is used as one of the means of improving a loving relationship without any craving about it (hence no sufferings as well)?
Isn't it a method of spiritual cultivation or meditation as it complies with the spirit of the Eightfold path? | Swinging is extremely self-centered, ignoble and dangerous to guyren because it's dangerous to the family.
Buddhism teaches mindfulness and to do no harm.
Any reckless and heedless behavior is to be avoided. | What is Buddhism's view on swinger life style which conducts sex privately with all parties in agreement? There appears to be no sexual misconduct. | 'Dve me bhikkhave anta pabbajitena na sevitabba'
'These two extremes,bhikkhus,should not be followed by one ....
so did The Buddha begin his sermon.
What are these two extremes?
1.Indulgence in desirable sense pleasure,which is low,vulgar,unprofitable,practised by worldlings but not by noble persons.
Hope this answers your Q. | Need help with the swinger life style.? Me and my husband have been married for 6 years and are still very much in love but lately me and some friends of mine have discussed the swinger lifestyle "not swinging with each other though". Is there any suggestions or web sites to learn more about swingers because I have not talked about this with my husband and want to be WELL informed when I disscusse it with him.Also any suggestions on how to bring it up?? | Try the website below. There is a forum devoted just to lifestyle "newbies" and it answers most of the questions newbies have about swinging. There are helpful suggestions to help you bring up the topic and discuss it in a way that is non-threatening to your husband. It's more common to see the male half bringing it up, but having the topic brought up by the female half is hardly unheard of. I think it's great that you're wanting to branch out and go on an adventure together!
If you're wanting to be well-informed, don't forget to look up the cons as well as the pros. Search the forums for "bad experiences", and pop in to the STDs and Swinging forum. The lifestyle is NOT without its risks, but you will both have to decide for yourselves just what level of risk is acceptable for you.
Good luck! | What is swinger life style? Can you explain it to me and give me some links? | Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle or simply The Lifestyle (although this simplified term is also used by people into Leather and BDSM), is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." [1]
Swinging activities can include (but are not limited to):
Exhibitionism: having sex with a partner while being watched.
Voyeurism: watching others have sex (perhaps with the above mentioned partner).
Soft Swinging or Soft Swap: kissing, stroking, or having oral sex with a third or fourth person. This may be in the form of a threesome or group sex, or partners may literally be swapped.
Full Swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one's partner, which is the commonly understood definition of swinging (though not necessarily the most common type.)
Group Sex: An all inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages with either another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (often called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. Sex on these occasions is often referred to as play.
The phenomenon (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which has occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity possible due to safer sex practices that became prevalent during these same decades.
While the vast majority of swingers are heterosexual couples, a major part of Lifestyle activities are bisexual in nature. A large portion of female swingers, while they may or may not identify as bisexual, are interested in female-female sexual contact. Male-male contact is more rare, but does occur.
Swinging is sometimes called wife swapping, but this term is now considered relatively archaic, as it is androcentric and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities that swingers may take part in. A more common term amongst swingers is simply The Lifestyle, as it is becoming increasingly referred to in contemporary culture. | How do I start swingers life style? Made up my mind to swing.
Better to play together than to have him go astray behind my back, besides, I want to try it out any way, sounds exciting.
No bashing me please, I want this for both of us.
I'm not asking for opinion, I want pointers and suggestions only, please. | Okie dokie,you ask,I tell. The Wife and I have an open relationship and it works for us. There are Rules we live by though. Here we go....
1. Sex only. No falling in love with someone else.
2. No jealousy. Ever. If you're the teeniest bit jealous this won't work.
3. You do your thing and he does his. Don't slam what floats his boat. Just because you don't care for anal sex doesn't mean he doesn't like it with someone else.
4. At the end of the night you two go home with each other.
5. No seeing someone you've swung with for a nooner. Unless your other half knows about it and says it's okay.
6. As soon as one of you says they want to go,it's time to go. Now.
7. No means no. You don't want to do a certain sex act,say so.
8. But do try new things. Hey,never know what'll float your boat you never knew about.
9. Bring your own lube. You'll need it,trust me.
10. Relax and have fun.
Sure you're ready for this? You may see your husband do things that will shock you. If I had a dollar for every woman who freaked out when she saw her husband go down on another guy or take it from behind I could retire to Hawaii right now.
Remember,this is all about sex. This is one time in bed when it's all about you,you,you. You get to do whatever you want to. Two guys at once? Go for it. That woman turning you on? Have at it. Big toy grab your attention? Give everybody a show. Don't be shy,go enjoy yourself. | If the m/f you were going out with told you that he/she was into the swingers life style? and wanted you to join them in that life style -- what would you say and/or do?? | | nothing,just nod on. | Why does people in twenties tend to swinger life styles...? i was triggered from a incedent recently..my sisters daughter is 23..i came across her pc and i saw many emails..and photos..i know she is entangled in it...im not saying i myself is not fully white(good)...but i am puzzeled...mostly ppl of 30s..start this....i am also married....i will exchange ideas..iam open to talk with any1....my id is -jessy_reeds@yahoo.com | | I'm 22 and I'm happily in a relationship. Swinging has never appealed. |
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